ageism in queer spaces, Boosts welcome
There's a meeting space for trans people that I used to go to, stopped for various reasons. It's a long story.The place has a Discord server. I'm on the server but I don't really check it out ever. I just want to have the option. A place where trans people meet in person regularly? A lot of us, too? I do sometimes wish I could go.
The other day a friend shared a meme that someone posted in that server. It's a picture with two stick figure people talking.
"Why do you only associate with old people?"
"What people?"
"Those board game people, for instance. Everyone's like thirty."
"Is that bad?"
"Kinda. You'll get used to them, make friends, and they'll be dead soon."
And now you have another reason I don't go to that place. I'm 39, about to hit 40 in early September.
I already feel extremely self conscious hanging out with people in their twenties. And that happens a lot, because people in their thirties and beyond tend to be less social in person, they have families, kids. As someone who became much more sociable since transition (I was in my mid-thirties), I kinda interact with a lot of people younger than me, can't help it. Especially in queer spaces.
It's never an issue in person because I look extremely young. Almost everybody I meet thinks I'm in my twenties based on looks alone. It's a blessing. I've had people act shocked that I'm over 30, let alone pushing 40. It's a nice feeling when I hear that yet again.
But I know my age and it makes me feel like a weirdo, like I don't belong, like I'm too old and like everyone who does know my age want me gone. They don't. It's just my severe mental issues and my trauma.
But jokes and comments and memes like this remind me what a person in their early to mid 20s REALLY thinks of anyone even slightly older. Apparently I have one foot in the grave and should be getting ready to die /s
And I've heard harsher "jokes", too. I've heard people wonder why "old" people go to pubs and clubs and social events and kink events and so on.
Like, it'd be shitty if I was 60 or 70, too. Or 50. But it's just weird when they talk about people in their 30s that way.
I know young people don't have a perspective on age that makes much sense. I know that comes with age. I know to a young kid of 22 or whatever, thirty something seems like a lot.
But it's still so shitty that those kids still reinforce that with "jokes" and comments over and over and over again. Especially queer kids are bad with this, I have no idea why.
I struggle to believe I belong among people as it is. You don't have to make it harder by being this shitty.
Worst, I've occasionally heard those "jokes" told to my face, because again, I don't look 39. People really tend to assume I'm 28 or something. So they make those jokes and the intention is "old people, haha, amirite? xD"
Yeah... thanks for making me feel welcome, kid. Apparently being friendly and accepting and welcoming and supportive has an expiration date.
