mh-, chaos, mh+
This chaos shit is really nagging on me and dragging me down. I can just feel how much less energy I have. I can feel the dumb depression creeping through again and trying to get ahold of me. It's so exhausting. So unnecessary. So much hate flung at me and our general direction.And despite it all, I powered through. I did things I needed to do and much more than that. I spent hours writing down texts and rules, improving posters and making infrastructure better overall. And I could even find my brakes just in time and stop when I felt it got too much. I got things under control better than ever before and now finally have a productive outlet into which to vent all my anger snd frustration at the general situation.
They won't get my ass, because despite it all, I just keep growing. And I am so fucking proud of that.
But I really also want the conflict to end at the same time. I want my energy back. For myself, but most definitely for the ones I love. I want to spend more time chatting with my adorable and amazing friends again instead of slowly breaking through rocks with a wooden mallet
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